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Golden Inspirations |
"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens."
- John Holmer Miller
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Home  Featured Columnists Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant The Accidental Comic Walking the Walk
Walking the Walk
 I recently won pedometer as a door prize. As you may know, the word pedometer, is from the Greek meaning, “Device that proves without a shadow of doubt that you’re lazy and slothlike.”
Needless to say, I was thrilled. The only thing I’d rather have won is a scale that announces my body fat out loud so that anyone passing by can be in on the dirty little secret. “You have the body fat of a gray whale. Have fun with your migration!” But curiosity got the best of me and I decided to hook the pedometer on the pocket of my jeans to see if maybe, just maybe, I was way more fit that I’d led myself to believe.
After all, it’s possible that I jog two miles every night in my sleep! And I’d love to have proof so the next time I go to the doctor and she asks what kind of exercise program I’m on I don’t have to say the “TIVO Program.” That’s the one where all the exercise you get is reprogramming your TIVO because the power went out again. For a whole day, I had a little digital reminder of the distance I traveled not only in miles, but also in kilometers. I felt bilingual when someone at work asked me how far I’d gone and I’d answer “1.17 kilometers!” Take it from me – always answer in the metric system because it will sound like you’ve gone so much further. So, I thought to myself, even if I’m not getting enough exercise, I am learning something new – how to use the metric system to fool people into believing I’m more athletic than I really am. And anything that furthers your education can’t be all bad.
A weird thing happened the second day. I got up and saw the pedometer on my bureau and thought to myself, “I bet yesterday was an anomaly. I probably go a lot further on an average day!” Besides, I hadn’t really measured all the steps I’d taken. How about all that moving I do before I get dressed? That hadn’t been counted! So I stuck the device on my robe and went to the kitchen to fix breakfast. “You’re wearing that thing again?” my hubby asked suspiciously.I thought I’d shake him up a bit. “Yeah, I’ve got a half marathon this afternoon and wanted to make sure the course was measured properly.” We both laughed so hard we snorted Cheerios through our nose. Unfortunately the pedometer wasn’t able to measure that.
I felt very healthy walking around the kitchen cleaning the counters, putting away the breakfast supplies, with the pedometer clicking away. By the time I got to the bathroom for my shower and make-up, I’d already walked 83 steps! And did you know that if you shift your weight from foot to foot while applying mascara, you can tally up extra distance? Of course, you may poke yourself in the eyeball like I did, but you have to expect a little pain with your exercise program. By about four o’clock, I had already walked as far as the whole previous day. I was so excited I decided to set a goal. I wanted to the thing to turn over 3.0001 kilometers. Don’t ask why the extra .0001.
I didn’t really need anything from the grocery store on the way home, but I thought walking around from aisle to aisle would help me come closer to my goal, so off I went. While I stood in line waiting to check out, I kind of marched in place. Sure the other patrons thought I was little odd, but hey, I was burning extra calories and they were not! And as I made dinner later that night, I intentionally “forgot” ingredients, so I’d have to keep going back to the pantry. I discovered that the distance from my pantry to my stove is seven steps or .003 kilometers.
It’s been a week now and the pedometer is still attached to me, like a new digital appendage. Yesterday, I walked over five miles, despite having three meetings! That’s right, I’ve started counting in miles; telling people how far I’ve gone in kilometers just seems cruel, like I’m holding it over them. I can’t believe this, but this tiny little door prize has made me want to exercise. I thought it would take an act of God.
I wear my pedometer everywhere these days. Although a few nights ago, my husband asked me to take it off my nightgown when I got in bed. I did, but I snuck it back on after he started to snore. After all, I still need to see how far I jog in my sleep.
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